15 Apr 2011
The other morning I realized I had forgotten to put a new 12-pack of Cokes in the fridge the night before and that I’d have to forage for change in order to buy a new cold one at work. I remembered that I had two shiny quarters on my desk, but then got distracted by something and didn’t go snag them.
A few minutes later, I heard Spike say, “Look Daddy! MONEYS” and though I feebly said, “Those are Mommy’s moneys,” I didn’t have the heart to rip a couple of quarters out of his fat little hand. I just went and got his piggy bank and let him put them in. I did this with a heavy and Cokeless heart.
Then Spike and Larry left for school, and I thought, You know what? No one’s here. I’ma go get those quarters back out of that piggy bank! and even though I also thought What kind of mother are you? Stealing from your baby? I countered that thought with Oh yeah, well, he stole them from me first. So I opened the bank (no, of course I didn’t have to smash it! they don’t even make shitty banks like that anymore, do they? this one had the little rubber thing at the bottom) and found two quarters to supplement the third quarter I knew I had in my wallet.
So, you know, I’m jingle-janglin’ to the Coke machine, nothing to see here, just stole some money out of my little boy’s piggy bank NO BIGGIE and one of the quarters didn’t work. This isn’t unusual, as our Coke machine sucks and often you have to put actual force behind your coin-dropping to make it take. So I shove the quarter in a few more times and then I looked at it. And it was totally one of these.