9 Jul 2008
1. I have a friend on Facebook who was born in 1923. Question: is this weird or cool? Discuss.
2. Friday we are headed to Memphis for the weekend — this will be Spike’s first road trip. It’s usually a 3-hour drive. It’s safe to assume it’s going to take us 5 or 6 hours, right? I can’t wait until he’s older so I can make him pee in a cup in the backseat like my parents made me do. He will have a slight advantage in terms of success. My father also limited how much liquid I was allowed to consume. Um. Is that child abuse?
3. On the television front, I have been watching Wipeout and heartily laughing my ass off. Sometimes I rewind to watch parts again. I’m not proud.
5. We were going to a white trash party the other night, and I really wanted to wear some of those crusty Billy Bob teeth (I actually had some that were made of gum, but they melted). I consulted my costuming expert, Mrs. Floon, who sent me to Party City. They probably had some, but I wandered around and didn’t find any and then couldn’t bring myself to ask. Please ma’am, where do you keep your false hillbilly teeth? Instead, I bought a single clip-on gold tooth ($1.99). Of course I had to wash the thing before sticking it in my mouth, and while I was rinsing it off WHOOSH! it went down the drain. I don’t know if you believe in ghosts, but all I’m saying is that 1) one of my Grandaddy’s front teeth was gold and 2) he’s dead.