I talk to Gorjus several hundred times a day. As he noted yesterday, usually I answer the phone by saying “bacon!” and then he says “ahoy-hoy!” (He used to just pretend he said “ahoy-hoy,” but now he actually says it.)
Occasionally — nay, often — he says things so ridiculous I must write them down. And today, I present to you a challenge: a quiz featuring some of the inane things Gorjus has actually said recently!
1. Yesterday, Gorjus said, “He’s a magic dick who walks around doing stuff.” Who was he describing?
c) George W. Bush
d) Bruce Springsteen
2. A few days ago, Gorjus said, “Sometimes, it’s like, the most awesome thing ever, and sometimes it’s just all, I don’t know, clammy.” What was he describing?
a) XM radio
3. Which phrase was not recently used in an email from Gorjus to me?
a) “Holy effing mother of all that is fucking holy.”
b) “You are sending me to an emotional grave.”
c) subject line: “new website, same rat face”
d) “Great fucking food? You want to fuck that sweet tea?”
4. The correct Gorjusinated form of the word “driving” is
5. Gorjus signed a series of emails recently with this acronym: “OMBC VP.” What does it stand for?
6. “Friptor.” Explain.