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22 Jun 2005

From the theohreally Mailbag.

Written by sally @ 11:30 am — Section: sally

Rogue Wave is playing tonight at WC Don’s! And even though I usually go to bed at 9:30 (thus earning me the nickname “Matlock”), I am going to be there. Jaxxie made an awesome, beautiful flyer, found here. If you live in Jackson, y’all come out tonight. I will be there for at least 10-15 minutes.

And now, a special feature: From the theohreally Mailbag!

Dear Sally,

I hear that you have known Gram of the rad band Rogue Wave since y’all were like, 11 or something. And once you went to a dance together! That is awesome! So, naturally, when his band is in town, after touring the country, you let them stay at your house, right? You are so nice! And so not an asshole!

The Internet

Dear Internet,

Heh. Well, yes, it’s true, I have known Gram a long time, and we did go to a Thespian function together one time (I wore this awesome vintage dress I bought at Goodwill for $8!), and we were both beat up by the same girl in middle school.

And you know, every December 7, I think fondly of Gram, for on December 7, 1989, he did two awesome things: one, he got kicked out of English class for impersonating a retarded person, and two, he tripped Jesse Jordan. Jesse Jordan was chasing Gram through the hallway after school and Gram stopped and said, Hey Jesse Jordan, I’m going to trip you! and stuck out his foot like people do in cartoons. Jesse Jordan came barreling down the hallway and actually tripped on Gram’s outstretched foot! And then Jesse Jordan landed on his stomach and slid a few feet! Therefore, December 7 is Gram Day.

And over the years we have kept in touch, and I’m really, really proud of him that he is an Official Rock Star.

And while I would be pleased — nay, honored — to have Gram stay at Nordan-Ferrari manor, it’s the, uh, other band members, who I do not know, who give me the heebies. Well, not them exactly: it’s their germs.

Internet, I have kept something from you. I am a germophobe. And unless I like you, really, really, like you, you ain’t staying at my house.

Does this make me an asshole? Yes? Awesome. Good times.

See you at the show,

8 Responses to “From the theohreally Mailbag.”

  1. gorjus said:

    Woot!! I’m in!

    Um. I mite have missed the show last time. But, it was getting late . . . and I was matlocking a bit (note lower-case spelling to indicate verbing).

  2. Tom Wingo said:

    Back in Charleston mother always used Rouge Wave as a euphemism for her menses. My mother said lots of awful things to us children. It got worse as we got older and she would speak of the Rouge Wave’s waning tide being not unlike my dear sister’s tenuous grasp on reality.

  3. Frenchie said:

    Jaxxie, that is a lovely flyer. Which leads me to ask: did the flyer come first, or the new theohreally banner (inspired by a book catalog)? Or were you both inspired by the same bird?

    I’m rather matlockian myself these days. Even if I lived in Jackson, I probably wouldn’t make it out to this show. But y’all have fun!

  4. sally said:

    Tom Wingo gets a prize for using the word “menses” in a comment. Oh: and the flyer came first. I became fixated on birds after I saw Jaxxie’s lovely work. Look for a similar banner photo in Catotpric’s future!

  5. beth said:

    Wait wait, does this mean you won’t be taking notes during Dancing with the Stars?

  6. sally said:

    The show won’t start until 10 or 11 (god, I hope it starts by then), so I’ll still be home, pen in hand, during Dancing with the Stars.

    And Celebrity Charades! It is the cutest show ever!

  7. gorjus said:

    Where is our Celebrity Charades review?? I need Reality TeeVee updates!

    You told me last nite when we were walking that Juliana Margulies was awesome at charades. Was that just to tease me? Because, DON’T DO THAT.

  8. sally said:

    Juliana Murgulies WAS really good. She was good at acting AND guessing. Last night Carson from Queer Eye was on, and he had trouble keeping his mouth shut. Oh! And Joey McIntyre was on last night as well! Carson stroked his shoulders. Joey Mac is making a name for himself on all the kind-hearted celebrity reality shows.