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30 Dec 2005

The Franz-Josef and MTHWINGBT.

Written by sally @ 11:33 am — Section: sally

• Larry grew a beard, then shaved it into the worst, most redneck facial hair ever: the Franz-Josef. He said next Christmas he’s totally going Hulihee — or will it be Chin Curtain? I enjoy the sheen the artist included on all the beards as well.

• Yesterday when I got home from work Lulu was locked in the bedroom and Pete was locked in the laundry room. Apparently Larry got confused/forgot to take his meds because these are the exact locations that the animals are not allowed to be. They both behaved badly: Lulu chewed on various, unnamed body parts all day, leaving a giant, dirty damp spot in the middle of the off-white bedspread OMG WTF, and Pete had a big time pooping in a plant and kicking dirt everywhere.

I didn’t discover the poop until this morning, WHEN PETE DID IT AGAIN. Larry took the whole plant — fresh poop and all — outside, and started coughing and carrying on so hard he said he was faint and was seeing stars.

I have a feeling he will be more careful about where he leaves the animals in the future.

• I haven’t given my new year’s resolutions any thought, but I always like to make some (and then ignore them). I think last year, besides some personal ones (like “lie less”), my main one was that I was going to read 52 books in 52 weeks and blog about them. I didn’t make it, but I didn’t fall so far behind, either. Check out the “bookish” category over to the right.

I’m going to attempt to do it again in 2006, along with my other blog resolution: to blog every day.

Obvious plea for comments: What are your resolutions?

• I got my hair cut yesterday and it’s official: I am never going back to Barnette’s, ever. You have my permission to pinch me if you hear I have gone back. I have enough anxiety in my everyday life. I don’t need an additional helping when I’m paying someone to wave sharp objects near my face.

After the initial sitdown in the chair where I explained what I wanted done (uh, the same thing I always say), my terrible hairdresser who I’m never going back to (MTHWINGBT) said exactly ONE THING TO ME. Conversation:

MTHWINGBT: You doing okay?
Sally: Yeah — how about you?

But get this: I misunderstood her. What actually happened:

MTHWINGBT: Is the water okay?
Sally: Yeah — how about you?

Awesome! It’s almost an insult, really: Yeah, well, the water’s okay. You, however, are awful.

5 Responses to “The Franz-Josef and MTHWINGBT.”

  1. gorjus said:

    There is so much here that I am giddy with delight. First off, I love that someone has named various insane facial hair-styles. Secondly, I have a couple of NYR’s myself.

    First, I want to start drawing more and more. A page a day is always my resolution that falls behind. I end up not drawing for a week, then doing fifty drunken sketches of catfish fighting Boba Fett, or something.

    Second of all, watch for the debut of The Thousand-Beer Year.

  2. Lucy said:

    1. I HATE the Chin Curtain. I find it frightening. You should post a picture of Larry with the Franz-Joseph. I’m intruiged.

    2. I hope the DL never waits on me at Chik-Fil-A. Or Blockbuster. How underqualified for her job where you work must she have been if THESE are her serious options? (Also, what is she qualified to do at a hospital???)

    3. My amorphous and so generally unbreakable NYR: to read more. I am ready for my bookshelf containing all the books I’ve bought in the past decade (seriously) but haven’t gotten around to reading to thin out some.

  3. larry ferrari said:

    If I had only done some research ahead of time, I would have been sporting some friendly mutton chops. Incidentally, the Friendly Mutton Chops is the new name of the fictitious ukulele and theremin band that Herman Rarebell and I are forming. We are looking into some facial hair weaves to speed up the process.

    I have not put much thought into the NYR department.

  4. poobou said:

    I’m guessing the hospital jobs she considered were more of the receptionist/administrative variety, rather than actually healthcare-related? (God, I hope so.) But sadly, I could totally see someone like her working at Chick-Fil-A.

    My NYR: to try to get myself knocked up. Wish me luck.

  5. the diplomat said:

    I resolve, in addition to drinking 1000 beers, to have 1000 babies birthed by 1000 women by year’s end. Look out September!