22 Dec 2005
The Best Gift Ever! And Bacon-Wrapped Coal.
I’m going to have a great Christmas holiday. You know why? ‘Cause gorjus gave me this last night.
And The Elements of Style Illustrated! And a Morrissey DVD!
I gave him coal. Bacon-wrapped coal.
So basically, imagine this: it’s Christmas eve, and Larry, Lulu, Pete, and I are snuggled up on the couch watching and rewinding, over and over, all twelve chapters of the R. Kelly goodness. So far the only part I have memorized is this:
oh my god a rubber (rubber) (rubber) (rubber)
I have a long way to go if I’m going to have my performance piece ready for New Year’s.
December 22nd, 2005 at 3:09 pm
My presents were AMAZING. I loved everything (you forget to tell them about my “LORETTA” leather belt you bought me!), but that t-shirt is just, smashing.
I’ve also received a hardbound sketchbook adorned with pictures of me and my god-dog, complete with hilarious word-balloons and a Game-Boy Micro from Jaxxie + Jaysus!
December 22nd, 2005 at 4:06 pm
I have already started to return all your presents. I can’t compete with that. Sheez, gorjus, you make my job so much damn harder.
December 22nd, 2005 at 5:04 pm
a student of mine threw that DVD on my desk a couple of weeks ago and said, “mr [clark], i think you need to see this.” so i took it home and put it in and … he was right. i needed to see it.
when you watch it, please note that mr kelly shifts from 1st to 3rd person at some point during the story. i’ve been kept up many an hour wondering why he’d elect to use such a …nonstandard … narrative technique.
December 22nd, 2005 at 6:20 pm
What about the line where the husband looks under the dresser? Awesome.
Also, the episode of South Park with R. Kelly & Tom Cruise in the closet was hi-larious.
December 27th, 2005 at 11:36 am
i like all the keywords listed under the r. kelly dvd:
Plot Keywords: Pie | Adultery | Police Officer | Jealousy | Operetta | Affair | Midget | Betrayal | Aria | Homosexual | (Show all plot keywords recommended by customers)