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16 Nov 2005

I Got Some Splainin’ to Do.

Written by sally @ 7:56 am — Section: sally

I got home from work last night as the storm really started to pour down, made dinner and a cake (gorjus: it’s that pear cake you like), and was about to sit down and eat when I stepped in something on the living room rug.

Mmm. Dog vomit. Not bad, though, just a little water. I cleaned it up and then immediately stepped in more. Upon closer inspection, I discovered lots of little vomity piles, one that included most of one of Pete’s mice. Apparently they don’t agree with Lulu. So after cleaning up the third or fourth pile (and seeing yet another one) I heard a terrible racket coming from the brick room (the brick room used to be a carport and is where Lulu lives). It was the sound of a dying cat.

Pete talks to himself a lot — like, a lot lot , especially when he is about to attack his arch enemy the doorframe — so at first I didn’t think anything of it. But when Lulu turned and ran downstairs to see what the matter was, I followed. And Pete had gotten his arm caught in the leg of the coffee table — the same coffee table that tried to kill Lulu a few months ago — and was biting the shit out of me and making that horrible dying cat noise every time I tried to help him.

It’s a metal garden table that my mother tiled the top of with some pretty fleur-de-lis tiles. Because it’s metal and has been tiled, it weighs, oh, FIVE THOUSAND POUNDS. The feet have little turned up edges on them, which is where Lulu got her collar stuck once while she was laying on the floor, and was where Pete had his arm wedged.

I stood there for a moment silently freaking out. Ok, we are having a horrible storm, there are tornado warnings, there is vomit on the rug, and the cat has a broken arm. Kill me now.

My bag from traveling this weekend was still sitting there so I got a t-shirt and wrapped it around Pete’s head and neck so I could help him without him biting me. He hated the t-shirt so much he wriggled around and managed to get himself out from the death grip of the table, after which he walked away nonchalantly as if nothing had happened. He stopped for a moment to wash his face, and that was the only pause before he tried to climb into a potted plant and kick dirt around.

So after cleaning up all the vomit I vacuumed the rug, and when I went to empty the dirt holder thingie I discovered that the vaccum had been stashing rug fuzz deep in its bowels, like enough to stuff several pillows with (man, that’s a nasty idea), at which time I gave up. Larry came in and found me, defeated, sitting next to the taken-apart vacuum cleaner and a garbage bag filled with rug fuzz and dog hair and dust.

I always feel like Lucy Ricardo in these kinds of domestic crises. All I needed was a baby crying or playing the drums or something to really send me over the edge.

Later, after everyone calmed down (including me!) there was some kitty-puppy cuddle time on the bed. I hate that Lulu’s puppy blanket right now is an ugly green sheet, but surely the cuteness will blind you to anything else in the picture.

And here is one of them napping. It’s not quite the hot kitten-snuggled-up-in-the-crook-of-the-dog’s-arm action I imagined, but it’s definitely progress.

It’s a weird size because I had to crop out someone’s doggina.

4 Responses to “I Got Some Splainin’ to Do.”

  1. corie said:

    Pete is getting big.

  2. sally said:

    I know–it’s tragic. At least he’s still cute.

  3. poobou said:

    That first picture is the cutest thing I’ve seen all day. And I love the word “doggina”.

  4. lisa said:

    When I first read “doggina” I read it like “dog-geenah” and it reminded me of the time in 7th grade biology when we were studying the human reproductive system. This kid named Russell was taking his turn reading out loud, and when he got to the female description, he said “va-geenah” for real. He didn’t even realize what we were laughing about.
    Those are some adorable pictures!