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10 Nov 2005

It’s Chocolate…It’s…Chocolate…It’s…Chocolatey.

Written by sally @ 8:16 am — Section: sally

I was unreasonably angry that Top Model was a rerun last week, but man. Last night’s episode was well worth the wait.


• The models go on a go-see with Benny Medina, manager to the stars. Uh, they bring a poster with them? Of their, um, lives? They all do really poorly. I first reached for a pen during Nik’s go-see, with which I wrote, Nik is too dumb to be a model. When Jayla gave her presentation, in which she blathered on about how her poster (?) represented her life, I could have kissed the editors for playing some really dumb music over her talking to represent Benny Medina’s boredom.

• Lisa, crazy person, decides to shake things up by putting on a wig, some fake teeth, and smeary lipstick. The other girls are not impressed. Later, Kim refers to Lisa as “disgusting, crazy Lisa.” I love this show.

• The photo shoot is the one where they’re supposed to look mad (this happens each season). Instead of being buried alive moments after you find out your friend died, this time the cast of the Wild Boys — Chris Pontius, Steve-O, and Wee Man — show up to wreak havoc during the shoots. They threw panties at Bre’s head and pissed her off for real. Lisa tried to assimilate by wearing an adult diaper and then peeing in it in front of everyone. Bre: “No one [with any class, much less a supermodel] is going to pee on herself at her job.” I really like that last part. Pee on yourself, sure — but not at work.

• Jayla sucks and her photo ends up looking like a blow-up doll. Ms. J. Alexander and Tyra take turns making a blow-up doll face to illustrate.

• The final challenge is to sell some products: a tube of toothpaste, a pair of sunglasses, and a chocolate bar. Unfortunately for everyone, the chocolate bar ad required the models to speak. Out loud. With their mouths. And again, I said to myself, Nik is too dumb to be a model. Her most excellent sales pitch was to simply repeat what the product was. “It’s chocolate…it’s chocolate…it’s…chocolatey.”

• In the elimination, it’s like I’m dreaming: Miami Whore Jayla and Baby Geena Davis Nicole are in the bottom two! And Tyra says they both are out! And then it turns out that she was kidding and that everyone is going on the trip to London. Oh well. I guess they bought an extra week when Casandra walked out over that extra inch of hair she wouldn’t cut off.

3 Responses to “It’s Chocolate…It’s…Chocolate…It’s…Chocolatey.

  1. Prof. Fury said:

    Ms J’s expressions of faux-sympathy during the botched chocolate commercials were priceless.

    So who are you pulling for in this thing, anyway?

  2. sally said:

    I have no favorite at this point. The only one who seems to be a non-moron is Kim, and I don’t think she’s a very good model. I guess I’m rooting for the wino.

  3. Liz said:

    I know, I’m having trouble picking anyone to root for, either. It’s a weird season.