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9 Nov 2005

“I’m Just Going to Walk Away Now.”

Written by sally @ 1:43 pm — Section: sally

I met Patience for lunch today and as we were leaving, I ran into someone I knew. It was, by far, the most excruciatingly awkward encounter of my life.

Patience and I were standing outside talking and a guy walked by who turned out to be my old friend Shrug [Confidential to anyone who knows his actual name: Is that a great code name, or what?].

Sally: Shrug! Hi!
Shrug: Hi.
Sally: What are you doing?
Shrug: Nothing.
(pause)
Sally: Oh, this is my friend Patience.
Patience: Hi.
Shrug: Hi.
(pause)
(pause)

Sally: So, um.
Patience: Well, I better go.
Sally: Ok, bye.
(pause)
(pause)
(pause)

Sally: So what’s been going on? Do you work on this side of town?
Shrug: Yeah.
(pause)
(pause)

Sally: So what are you doing?
(pause)
Shrug: Eating lunch.
(pause)
Sally: Yeah. It happens.
(pause)
(pause)

Sally: Ok, this is incredibly awkward.
(pause)
Sally: I’m just going to walk away now.
Shrug: Ok.
Sally: (bursts into flames)

Oh dear lord. This is a person I used to talk to all the time! And who used to come visit me! And who I organized a surprise party for once! And who, when drunk, likes to lay on the floor and insult people! I’m beginning to think that I have multiple personality disorder, and that one of my selves must have done something really, really bad to him. The fact that that’s the most logical solution to this? Means there’s a problem.

As I drove out of the parking lot, I passed Patience, who was cracking up and pointing at me from the safety of her own, awkwardness-free car.

9 Responses to ““I’m Just Going to Walk Away Now.””

  1. Shrug said:

    No, you haven’t wronged me. Even I can take humor at my own weirdness. It was good to see you even though it may not have appeared that way. Conversation-starting after years of lack of being in touch is not my specialty. I was happy to see you and am honored to get a nickname. I’ll have something prepared to say if we run into each other again. (Dear god, let’s not!)-hahaha.
    Tell Patience I said “Hi.”

  2. sally said:

    I’m going to keep several questions on a little card in my purse for any future encounters, with a special note that says, “Continuing to ask any form of ‘what are you doing?’ or ‘what are you up to?’ will lead absolutely nowhere.”

  3. Shrug said:

    Just so we can coordinate better in the future, we usually go to the Country Fisherman once a week generally on Tuesday or Friday. That was the first time going to Sonny’s in a long time so for the most part you should be safe there. On Monday we went to a badass chinese place near the Metrocenter. It was my first time there and let me tell you they have quite a spread. They also have like 8 flavors of Blue Bell ice cream on the buffet….and its only $6.50. I would avoid this place the most at lunch since I have the highest probability of being there during lunch and I really hate excruciatingly awkward moments right after lunch.

  4. sally said:

    That chinese place is rad. I used to go all the time but OD’ed on crab rangoons. I never go to the Country Fisherman (thanks for the warning) because their air conditioner is never working when I go and I hate sweating into my catfish.

  5. jp! said:

    theres no such thing as od’ing on crab rangooonns.

  6. The Librarian said:

    Oh yeah, that Chinese place is awesome. They have a most outstanding buffet. I usually eat lunch there on Saturdays.

  7. Mr. Mooch said:

    sally, does your friend have a problem? maybe he is on the drugs.

  8. sally said:

    I think he is just on the shyness.

  9. speedy marie said:

    hahaha.. this is funny stuff!